Dear APS,
The heat is making me simmer. I think it needs to make you simmer. As in simma down now!
The heat really does make me simmer. And it makes my electric bill be extremely high too. But I get it. It's summer in Arizona, what're ya gonna do? Well you're gonna crank up the A/C and pay luxury car payment prices so that you can keep from being a puddle in your own home. And there's only one place to get that electricity. From you.
I've been an APS customer for... well for since I've been in AZ. I don't complain too much when the power goes out. Which fortunately only happens when it rains. And I don't complain that only a very small portion of my bill actually goes for power charges (well in winter anyway) because you charge me almost $100 per month to deliver electricity to me so that you can charge me to use it. Or that you charge me a fee to come read my meter. Or that you charge me a fee to even have a meter in the first place.
What really makes me simmer is that after more than a dozen years of paying all those various fees, I forgetfully miss 1 payment and get 2 nasty letters 2 days in a row telling me that you're going to shut off my power and that if this happens again you'll have to charge me a deposit. That makes me complain a little. Especially since I paid that bill the moment I found out I forgot.
And since my options include complaining on here and continuing to send you money so you can sell me electricity or... well. That's my only option if I live here.
So the check's in the mail. Are you happy?
Simma Down Now!
Signed, Hot-Headed
P.S. I'm gonna go unplug for a little while. Maybe drive around in a nice air-conditioned car.
Dear OPEC,